On my 30th Birthday, I realized that I did not like who I was. I actually hated myself. I am the only person in this entire world that I have ever hated. I had no real friends, I had an awful relationship with my family and I resented the fact that I stayed so long in an unhealthy relationship with my exboyfriend, but I was alive and I had the opportunity to change all of that.
I began my journey of self-discovery. I knew the person that I wanted to become and I knew the person that I wanted to be. Tough at times…I remained persistent on focusing what matter most, loving me…flaws and all. Once I was able to love myself…I was then able to love others in return.
Through the course of the next 3 years, I rebuilt my relationship with my family and found some great best friends. I never in my life have felt so much love. By my 33rd Birthday, I could honestly say that I loved myself and that I had it all…but, my heart was still a little empty.
It was October 3rd right before my 33rd Birthday. My best friends and I went out to have a pre-birthday dinner celebration. Afterwards, we were going to an art gallery opening for a friend who was in town from NYC. During dinner, I remember telling my friends that I was going to meet someONE and I did.
At the restaurant, I ran into some friends, was introduced to him, and still ‘til this day, I remember his smile. Even though he had a girlfriend, I remember thinking to myself that he was that someONE I was suppose to meet. About 3 months went by and I ran into him again. I think we exchanged smiles but it was not until the 3rd time I ran into him did we exchange conversation. During our conversation, I discovered he was available and interested in getting to know me and vice versa.
It only took him 3 days to fall for me and I fell for him too, harder than I have ever fallen. It was awesome, and for a brief moment, my heart felt full. It was the best feeling in the world. Some people might call it love, whatever it was…it was AHH-MAZING!!!
Unfortunately I am not lucky with love…I wish the 3rd time was my charm…
Like a pimple you can’t squeeze under your arm pit?