Breaking up is always hard to do. I think that was a song. I was such a late bloomer. My first boyfriend Matthew Fausto (Capricorn) was when I was 18 years old. I was a freshman in college and he was a senior. I was a cheerleader and he played soccer. I was a loyal, trusting, naïve, inexperienced little girl and he was a party boy that cheated on me every chance he could get. I am not sure what it was that made me fall in love with him (probably because he was my first love), but it only took me minutes of finding out he cheated on me to fall out of love. I remember asking him to come over to my campus apartment. I had asked my brother and his friends to leave for fear that they would kick his arse. (I lived with my lil brother in college. He was the best c*ck block anyone could ever have. Good thing because he prevented most of the douche bags from ever asking me out.)
Anyway, Matthew Fausto came over and we had a long heart to heart. After telling him that I was not happy and wanted more out of our relationship, he began to cry. I really did not know what I wanted…all I knew is that I did not want him. I felt sorry for him, for like half a second. His blue eyes swelled up with tears and he began to ask why I was not happy and what he could do to keep me. I wanted to tell him to jump off a bridge and die for being such a lying cheating b*stard. Even then, I did not have a mean bone in my body. I told him that I was not ready to settle down and he was. He wanted to eventually get married and I did not see myself doing that anytime soon (if ever). 3 months after I broke up with him, he became engaged to one of the girls he was cheating on me with. They are married now and have children. He emailed me a year ago to see how I was doing. I did not respond…
Having someone cheat on you can leave you a “Bitter Betty”. Nevertheless, I have never let my past ruin my future. Therefore, after my break up…I pressed on. I was 21 years old and having the best time of my life. I had a great group friends, I had my teammates and I had my best friend, my brother. They always say when you least expect it…you will find someone. Well, it is true. I would see out all the time a guy. We would pass each other on the way to class, we shared the same weight lifting time (he played Lacrosse) and we ran around the same social circles. One night, my brother and I stumbled down to Panini’s on 10th and High. If I remember correctly, it was a Tuesday because Chris Logsdon was playing. I see this person AGAIN and he finally approaches me. (I was nervous and my armpits were sweating profusely.) He asked me where my boyfriend was. I told him I did not have one. He pointed to my brother and said, “He is not your boyfriend”. “Umm…NO!!! That is my brother”.
There was a sigh of relief. He apologized for taking so long to talk to me. He introduced himself, Ralph Frank (Cancer). He was an Italian from NYC and had an accent. (My mum always insisted that I date Italians.) He asked me to go to a gig with him the following Thursday. I had agreed. I remember as if it were yesterday. He picked me up at my apartment. My brother and I were sitting inside watching TV when the phone rang. Ralph Frank was outside waiting in his car. When I picked up the phone, he said he was outside. I said I was inside and not coming out until he came to the door like a proper gentlemen. He came to the door and tried to be sooo cool instead of being himself. My brother did not like him from the get go. I gathered my things and we walked to the car. I stood in front of my door until Ralph opened it. (Listen boys, chivalry is not dead!)
On our first date we went to see his friend’s band that was playing at the Red Zone (I cannot believe that place is still open.) The band was Ordinary Peoples. They were AMAZING and I still catch a show when they come to town! After too many shots of Jaeger Meister (BARF!), I began to warm up to Ralph. He was very abrasive and had the “I am from NYC and I am too good for everybody” personality. Definitely not my type, but I kinda liked his cockiness. I was done drinking for the evening and switched over to Kettle One with water and a lemon (my drink of choice). It was really water with a lemon, this way everyone still thinks you are drinking instead of trying to sober up! I had a 7:32am Zoology class. (Seriously, what was I thinking when I scheduled that?) Ralph sat down next to me and propped his feet up on my chair. He was 6’2 and 250lbs not small by any means. He was lookin good. He wore Diesel Jeans, which equates coolness in my book. Actually, a good pair of jeans on any guy can increase his stock value. Problem was, he had these white ankle socks on with his black suede Armani shoes (he was a label whore). Who does that? Of course, I made a smart arse comment on his fashion disaster and because I was not blessed enough to have a filter over my mouth, I offended him which was not my intention. He said that I was a brat and that I should come over to do his laundry for him to make up for that comment. (Note to self…should have been a sign that he wanted me to be “Suzy Homemaker” little did he know I couldn’t cook, but I look really hot in an apron and heels!)
Our first date was fun. For some reason we ended back at his place, 235 East Lane…oh the memories in that house. I ended up spending the night, but I only kissed him. I was classy then and I am still classy now…I never give my cinnamon away too soon. I woke up at 6am and literally ran to my house to change cloths and make it to my 7:32am class. (Please do not think I am bragging, but I was a scholar athlete and almost graduated with honors. I have no idea how I did this because I never bought a book and never missed a party!!!) Ralph called mid afternoon after our first date (this was before text messaging became a form of communication) and wanted to see if I would go to dinner with him that night. I declined. I wanted to hang out with my brother and watch the OSU men’s BB game. They were playing in the final four and I was bummed that I was not cheering the game. Due to circumstances that happened at the previous ‘99 Sugar Bowl, I was not allowed to cheer the men’s tournament. (Listen…I did not do anything wrong except I was at Rick’s Cabaret. I like the strips clubs only because I drink free!!!) My brother and I went to watch the game at the Varsity Club. Matthew Alexander did not like Ralph, but he said that I should go to the party he was throwing Saturday night. Therefore, I did…
It was the college party of the year. They had 25 kegs and Ordinary Peoples and O.A.R. were playing on the balcony. Ordinary Peoples actually wrote a song about this party. I remember what I wore for some reason. A white vintage baseball T-Shirt with blue capped sleeves, my Khaki overalls (dude…it was the 90’s bare with me here!) and my trusty Vans. When I got to Ralph’s house, I went up to his third floor room to put my handbag in there for safekeeping. On his bed was an over night, express mailed, UPS box. It was open. I took a little gander inside the box (Lets be honest, I am nosey.) And low and behold…there were brand new black dress socks and a note from his mother that read…”I hope these socks bring you luck!” I thought that was the sweetest thing and at that moment, I knew that I was going to fall in love with this kid. Who knew that a pair of socks would result into a 7-year relationship? I was in LOVE!
Ralph and I were the “All American Couple”. We bought a house together and planned on getting married one day and having many babies. I am not going to lie the first 5 years were AMAZING! However, the last two years were AWFUL! His career became his world and I became second best. For a long time, I thought love was “self sacrifice”. I was willing to give up my happiness for him to have what he “wanted”. We had it all…big house, fancy car, and all the superficial materialistic things one can have. I needed none of that. I felt (remember this is my version and my side)…I felt that I did everything for him and when I “needed” him most, he was not there for me. March of 2006, I woke up as if I were Snow White sleeping for years and decided to change my entire life. I had to schedule a meeting to break up with him. It took me 4 days for him to finally sit down with me to talk about “us” or lack there of. I told him that I was not happy and that I wanted more out of our relationship. Like my first…he began to cry. I tried to cry for dramatic effect…but to no avail…I could not. Ralph never fought to keep me…he just let me go.
I packed up everything that I owned and that I was allowed to take in my Blazer (which my Blazer is currently trying to kill me…I will write about her later…but just picture Stephen King’s, Christine. In place of the really cool Plymouth Fury, picture a paid Chevy 95 Blazer with no heat or air conditioning and only two windows roll down and it never fails that something goes wrong with it every 6 months. I really want a new car…but I can’t find my dream car…Electric Purple El Camino…pink dice in the mirror!!!)
Anyway, I left my cozy house, my dog (I still think of you and miss you Dolce) and my security blanket. I had no friends (he got those too!) and nowhere to go.
Ralph has moved on and I imagine he will be getting married sometime soon. We have not spoken in almost 2 years. It is for the best that we did not remain friends. I do think of him often and imagine what my life would be like if I would have stayed with him, but then I realize that I would rather play in on coming traffic than go back to my old life and of course because an ex is an ex for a reason…
