I swear I am going to start drinking on the job. I am so over working this 9 – 5 thing and then some. Nevertheless, I have to work because I would die from shear boredom if I did not have something occupying my time. Therefore, I have made a list of other “life opportunities” that I might consider in the next few months. See below:
A Number 1: Pack up everything I own and move to NYC. It has always been a dream of mine to live there. However, if I moved I would more than likely live the life of destitute and probably work as a server to pay for my “Penthouse Chateau Ghetto”. But of course I would be really FREAKIN cool and write in coffee houses and date numerous bass players who wear really skinny jeans and pointy shoes. Songs would be written about me I would finally be published at some underground publication no less and I would eventually become famous. Sounds promising…I know, I do have some bass players and a place to stay lined up so I am keeping this on the top of my list.
B Number 2: Have my own reality show. Picture “Champagne Sunday’s Weekend Recap” of me in a fur coat, a bikini, my really cool white vintage cowboy boots and big sunglasses. I would obviously be drinking mass amounts of champagne while my fans throw Bon Bons at me. I am not sure if this would be successful financially or not, but I guarantee it would be HILARIOUS. I would accept bribes from my friends so I do not dish their dirt. However, I more than likely I would get really bored because I am so over the mundane activities that continue to go on weekend after weekend here in C-Bus.
C Number 3: Cash out my 401K pay off all my bills and travel the ENTIRE world with the monies that are left over. I would be a bohemian, pretend I am a rock star, see the 7 Wonders of the World, and panhandle for food and boarding. Tap dance in the streets for money (I can not tap dance, so I more than likely will choreograph a really cool break dance and walk around with a boom box and just bust out my moves in crowds of people.) I think I could only manage doing this for 6 months so, I will have to come up with something else just in case.
D Number 4: Sue my ex for my half of the house that I use to own…continue to be over worked and underpaid, but in return once I reach my sales goals for the day, I spend my time surfing the net and blogging on my company’s dime. Live paycheck to paycheck and crave the days when I hang out with my friends and look really AMAZING in my overpriced Urban Outfitters cloths…bitch and complain that my career bites the big one and more than likely will work here FOREVER…On a good note…my boss can’t smell the VODKA that is everlastingly on my breath…
